Training Wheels

You remember ’em.  (Or maybe you were a bad ass/some biking prodigy and don’t? fine then.)

Our stepping stone.  The small but critical support that helped us not only build skill but confidence–and develop a love of riding on our own.  They say you never forget how to ride a bike, which makes me think it’s not so much a skill as it is an innate ability.  Like, you were born to find your balance, to feel the wind in your hair, and to propel yourself to speeds far faster than you could do with just your own two feet.  But you gotta get there in baby steps.

I swear there is a point to this metaphor.

Today I just sent off my proposal to the VPs of Institute, the SMDI of my team, and my own manager. It’s a “soft” release–we have a call on Wednesday to discuss, but as I sit here thinking about what I just accomplished, it’s striking what I’m feeling: calm.  You would think that after spending 3 months drafting, revising, brainstorming, context-gathering, feedback cycling, re-starting, testing, and polishing that I’d be more nervous.  This is where my training wheels come in.

This year I was promoted to being a Director of Design–and it was a surprise.  I knew that my role last year was supposed to be a stepping-stone to this (a sort of training wheels in and of itself), but I expected the process to take longer.  But, an opening came, I was a good fit, and here I am, a Director at last.  But when I look at the project I was given, I see both its enormity and incredible impact, but also the training wheels.  Yet I also feel like I’m tapping into something I was born to do as well–design.  In an attempt to both give myself credit for the feat I just pulled off, but also to acknowledge that I sure as shit had support, I want to name it all.

The Training Wheels:
An external org that developed the model we will use (this is huge–I’m not creating new content, and thus have much less to test).  And the fact that the model is still similar to the one we used before, which means less institutional learning for us.  An org structure that essentially ensures Institutes say “yes” to my proposal.  A general willingness to trust me as an expert in this because of my unique experiences in classroom management positions.  A manager that supports me (and who I adore), and is willing to not only support me but talk me up to anyone she talks with.

The Bike: 
While I didn’t develop the model, I am certainly developing the methods.   This will be a full-scale institute revision.  That means 9 institutes, hundreds of staff members, nearly 5,000 new teachers, impacting hundreds of thousands of students.  An entire strand of training, 4 sessions, plus a fully revised staff-training Scope and Sequence.  A topic that makes most new teachers cringe, and is considered C-R-I-T-I-C-A-L to their ability to succeed in the classroom.  Modifications for ECE (pre-school) and Special education teachers so that ALL of our learners get the support they need from their teacher.  A proven ability to collaborate, flexibly revise ideas, put my nose to the grind stone and get.it.done.  A finesse in working with others, and navigating difficult conversations. An opportunity to prove I can handle a full-scale project and that you can give me another.

Even with the support, I’m riding the bike.  I’m doing the peddling and steering the handlebars and am propelling myself forward.

After this comes sharing with the SMDIs, staff conferences, and the actual work of session design itself (!!!!) so I know there is still a LONG way to go.  But this is big, and so until the road gets rough again, I’m going to slow down and enjoy this ride.