A step back in time…

I know the focus of this blog is supposed to be about merging today and tomorrow, but with the Olympics on, I can’t help but think back to my glory days as a gymnast.

Now, I call them “glory days” but really, they were pretty tough. I knew early on that I didn’t have the heart (or um, the body type) to be a super great gymnast. I was short enough at 5’1″ but really muscular, and back in my day that was too “big”. (The big buff gymnast didn’t become an acceptable body style until probably the 2000s.). But I was still pretty darn good and worked really hard. We don’t need to rehash how my career ended (it was pretty emotionally scarring!) but whenever the Olympics come on, I think back fondly to my gymnastics days.

It takes me back to a time when I physically worked SO HARD. When I was doing things with my body that most people can’t even dream up. I spent HOURS upon hours in a gym every day and was tough. Really super strong and tough. Mentally and physically. I know I’ll never be that strong again (honestly no one really has a need to be) but I still miss having something that hard to work for. I miss the physical dedication and commitment–pushing through the pain for something that matters. I love the Olympics because it reminds me for a brief moment what that felt like!

It makes me wonder about goals and the work we must put in to reach them. Sometimes sports and goals that require physical exertion and training can be simpler–not int he work you have to put in, but in the formula. Do this many reps, train for this number of hours, and maintain mental focus. The more ambiguous goals of life and career are tougher to fight for, and there are no guarantees that you’re even “training” in the right way. Even if I’m not, I still want my fighting spirit back. The Olympics couldn’t have come at a better time, reigniting the desire to fight for something. Time to figure out what I want, and go for it! 🙂

Someday, I will absolutely love my job.

I have been in my new role for a little over a month now, and I have incredibly mixed feelings about it.  While I’m grateful to have a job at all, it is really, really hard to transition from a job you’ve done for two years (and were on a pretty solid track) where you felt successful and just GOOD at what you did.  Now I am in this whole new world where I am not really sure what I’m supposed to be doing, much less how to be GOOD at doing it.

However, I didn’t realize how much of a toll this took on me until Scott made a comment last weekend that I got SUPER sensitive about.  So I’m deciding right now to list out the really, really great things about this new role that I do really love and appreciate.  I need a reminder that I do absolutely love (parts of) my job, today.

Why I love my new job on the design team:

• I have an incredible manager, who is a phenomenal role model.  I feel so supported, cared about, and believed in.
• The people on my team are brilliant, and are so inspiring.  They are working on ambitious projects that will literally change the way we prepare teachers, and thus change the educations our CMs are able to provide for students.
• I have so much flexibility.  I can work from home, a coffee shop, or the office; I can be in Denver, San Diego, Washington or Phoenix.  And I will NEVER have to worry about needing to find a new job if we relocate ever again.
• I set my own hours, and my manager has complete faith that I will get done what needs to be done in the time it needs to be done.
• I am allowed, if not encouraged to go off course and explore topics and idea that may not be immediately applicable to my projects, but will help me feel stronger and more confident in doing my work down the road.
• I am encouraged to take time to slow down, relax, and reflect on the work I am doing.  How could I change things that are not feeling as fulfilling?  What should I do more of that makes me feel totally successful and sustainable int his work?
• A part of my job is dedicated to my professional development–my manager and I choose projects based on my STRENGTHS, as well as the areas I am most interested and in need of developing to move up in the design world.  How cool is that?
• Even though there is a lot of change, I still get to work for the same company.  And while it certainly has its flaws, I still believe so whole-heartedly in what they believe should be true for all children.  That is what keeps me motivated and inspired.
• I’m being sent to DC for three days (and being allowed to extend the trip for personal vacation) to build fellowship with staff members from around the country who have a similar identity as me.  And I get to attend a congressional caucus.  This is not a unique trip–this organization has allowed me to travel to so many new cities (and Scott has got to tag along a few–Seattle, New York, and now DC!) and have rich, deep conversations with people in those cities about issues I am passionate about.  I get so excited every time a new conference is announced!

There is A LOT to love about my work right now, and I need the occasional reminder of that.

For Now…

I saw this on my friend Vanessa’s blog, and I had to try it out myself.  I feel like doing this often will help me to feel less stress and anxiety about things I’m not completely content with in my life.

• I am out of shape, and having a hard time running even 2.5 miles…for now
• I am really worried about money and how our merged finances are going to work…for now
• I am stressing out about having or not having a bridal shower…for now
• I am not totally sure what my goals are in my new job, much less how to reach them…for now
• I don’t have a lot of friends in the Denver TFA office, which makes working there REALLY boring…for now
• I am mad that I’m not much of a reader–even though there are lots of books I want to read, I just can’t seem to find the time or stay interested…for now

Let’s Get It Started!

Ok, let me start by saying this blog is a project of sorts.  I’ve tried to start blogs in the past, with minimal success.  It just never becomes what I thought it would be, and as time goes on I get distracted. Before I know it, months have gone by and it just seems silly to catch an imaginary reader up on what I’ve been doing.  But, I’ve had a little more success with our “Re-Discovering Denver” blog (mostly because I know Scott’s mom checks it!) so I figured maybe now is the time to try again.  And, I am super jealous of my friend Vanessa for her adorable little blog, so I feel like it’s worth a shot!

I want a space where I can share my attempts, successes, and failures in trying to better myself.  Trying to be the person that I want to be someday.  I feel like there is no longer a reason to wait: I’m in a new city with new friends, starting a new job in a new home.  In 9 months ‘m going to be married and will start a new chapter as a wife.  So why not make it a focus in my life to make “someday” today?

Though I know I will certainly stray from this list, here are some topics I’d like to focus on:

• Friends
• Home
• Play
• Love + Marriage: this will also include wedding plans 🙂
• Career
• General Self-Improvement/Reflection
• Hobbies, Crafts, Projects
• Food
• Books

I will start out by setting a goal to blog at least once a week, but I’m not sure that I will always be able to hold myself to this without setting up some kind of structure.  I know some weeks I’ll want to post WAY more than once, and some weeks will be too busy.  I know at times this blog will become a diary, a travel log, a venting forum, and gosh knows what else.  But who really cares?  After all, it’s just a project, and something is better than nothing!