Monthly Archives: October 2013
Too Much Fun
This weekend was a BLAST! I feel like it was a little non-stop, full of friends, food, fun, and beer. And of course, some time spent with my favorite colored animal 🙂
This week promises to be even busier with selection and regular work, but even with all that, I’m just so happy right now 🙂 Love this little life!
A love letter from my future (current) husband
Years ago, Scott told me that he had planned to first say “I love you” on a weekend trip to Sedona. He had set-up the perfect little trip and wanted to top it off with those magical words.
But, Scott also knew himself pretty well. He was worried he might accidentally blurt it out after one too many beers, and was worried that I may chalk it up to the alcohol. Or worse, that I may fall into the “he-said-it-but-was-a-little-drunk-and-now-is-probably-too-embarassed-so-he-keeps-saying-it-but-probably-doesn’t-mean-it” way of thinking. So, my sweetheart wrote me a letter.
He never showed me this letter until much later–it wasn’t necessary. (Side note: while he didn’t last until our Sedona weekend, he did choose to say it on a walk home with fireworks in the background. Talk about sparks flying! :)) But years later, when he was moving he found the letter and gave it to me anyway. I have had it stashed in a safe place (read: a drawer I NEVER clean, which puts it at no risk of accidentally being thrown away!) and want to frame it one day. It is the sweetest love letter from a man who would one day become my husband.
I don’t want to share the letter because the words are our special little secret, but he dated (and time stamped) the letter so I would know the exact minute he knew he had to tell me that I was his love. The best part? It was almost four years later (within days!) that we got married. When you know, you know 🙂
I found the letter again today, and it took me back to those moments. When we fell in love. When years later he proved that he had known so long ago. To our wedding day, and realizing the date was more perfect than we realized. I am one lucky, lucky lady.
Goal Setting
I read an article yesterday about the pros and cons of goal setting. The idea is that while yes, goals are important for a lot of reasons (to keep us motivated and guided towards our aspirations), sometimes even short terms goals can feel too forward focused. Specifically, if your goals are all about developing or changing into something else, they can start to feel draining–and can send negative messages about yourself if and when you don’t meet them.
The article proposed a different approach to short term planning: how can you set goals look from where you are on up, instead of from where you need to be on down? It’s fascinating concept.
Instead of saying “here is my goal. In order to get there, I will have to do/be x, y, and z. Here is when I should have x completed, and then y, and then z.” You say: here is my goal. I want to be do/be x, y, and z. Here are the opportunities this week in which I can NAIL x, grow in z, and y is just not my focus right now.” It’s a nuanced difference, but a very important one.
- It is asset vs. deficit based. Instead of focusing on what I DO NOT have or do (and thus need to fix about myself), it focuses on the current strengths and opportunities that exist, and lets me build on those towards my ultimate destination.
- My motivation comes from wanting to achieve vs. fearing failure. If I fail at the upwards facing goal, that’s ok–I’m still me and the good things are still true about me, as are the areas I want to focus on. I’m motivated to try again because I still find those goals worthwhile. If I fail at the downward facing goal, then I am “behind” on my progress, and next time I have to do twice as much work (with probably half as much confidence).
- It validates all of the work you’ve done to get to this point.  Part of the problem with goal setting is that it sometimes minimizes all of the work you’ve done to get to your current point in life, and instead makes you feel like you always have to be better. Like, all of the hard work you’ve done up to this point was solely to get you ready to do MORE work to be and do better! How unmotivating is that?!? Surprise! Your reward is…more work. This approach helps us see that our current destination–the end point of some previous journey–is still pretty flippin’ great; we should be proud and enjoy the fruits of our labor.
- It doesn’t let you off the hook. You are still responsible for doing the work if you want the growth. However, instead of being given these things to accomplish, you also have to do the work of analyzing your strengths, viewing the obstacles in your life as opportunities, and also learning to prioritize growing with just being. How much better off will we be putting our energy into that kind of self-analysis, vs. the kinds of assessment that just look for where we suck?
- It may be slower moving, but perhaps ultimately quicker in reaching the end goal. Think tortoise vs. hare here. While I may not be zooming through goals and checking things off my “growth-to-do” list, it’s likely that the growth I do experience will be deeper and longer-lasting, and one that I can apply in a variety of contexts, settings, and situations.
This just feels like such a loving idea. Like, you are great, but there is still nothing wrong with a little growth and self-betterment–as long as it acknowledges how wonderful and strong you already are. And we totally need to give ourselves more credit; how hard have we each worked to gown and learn and get exactly where we are right now?
It’s totally fine to want to grow and change: just be sure that you’re doing this because you want to be x, not because you don’t want to be who you are right now.
Rocky Mountain High
Colorado.
Scott and I went up to the mountains again this weekend for one last Aspen-watching trip. Unfortunately, we were probably JUST a couple of days late for our particular route to see it at its fullest (through Boreas Pass and the continental divide) but we still saw plenty of beauty–and now we know for next year! 🙂
The trip started with a stop in Breck to get some Daylight doughnuts, coffee and hot chocolate (delicious!) then a fun, windy trip through town to find our route. The entire pass is a narrow dirt woad, which was fun but dicey at times. Plenty of spots to turn off and enjoy the view, but so much of the drive it is just you and the mountains + trees. I felt so disconnected from everyday life–you just don’t SEE that in Denver–and it made me so appreciative that I can live in a place where all of this is just a few hours away.
This is probably our last trip up for Aspen watching, but Scott and I both decided that snow tubing this winter is a must 🙂
Me and the Hubs:
The Ocean in a Drop 